Are you seeking a sexual/romantic connection or something platonic?
How intimate a level of touch are you comfortable with?
*How serious a relationship are you looking for?
*What's the preferred gender of potential partners?
*What is your current relationship status?
*This information is optional for people only interested in platonic relationships. Some people, although remaining sexually 'off the market,' may wish to indicate their current relationship status.
The code's base elements are a joined circle and line. Through the addition of symbols to the line, the orientation of the line relative to the circle, and the extent to which the circle is filled, the questions above can be answered at a glance.
Platonic vs. Sexual
Platonic is indicated by putting a circle around the entire symbol. Unenclosed symbols indicate seeking a sexual relationship.
Relationship Type
Platonic
Sexual/Romantic
Symbol
Physical Intimacy
The hanky code is primarily designed to facilitate interaction between people who don't know each other very well. Use this symbolism to indicate the intimacy you'd feel comfortable with for someone you've just met at a convention or a party. This is not a contract, but it is a suggestion as to how intimate you are willing to get with people who, though part of the slash community, are not yet your personal friends. You cannot specify the kinds of naked touching to which you are open, nor any intermediate steps between kissing and hugging, on the theory that anyone who wishes to engage in activities of that nature should be mature enough to negotiate them.
Level of Intimacy
No Touch
Hug
Kiss
Naked Touching
Symbol
Seriousness
Duration of Interaction
One Night Stand
Long Term
Flexible
Symbol
*
* The line may point left or right to indicate flexibility, so long as it is horizontal. Also, flexibility indicates that either a one-night stand or a longterm relationship is welcome.
Gender Preference
This is a broad announcement of the gender you sexually prefer. The code isn't designed for nuances.
Gender
Female
Male
Either
Symbol
Current Relationship Status
This symbolism announces whether you are involved in a romantic relationship already, and the extent to which any new romantic relationships can become public. You cannot indicate the number of partners you may already have or the specific relationship agreements you have in place. People involved in multi-person relationships should be responsible enough to talk about that sort of information.
Relationship Status
Single
Open1
Closed2
Gender Preference
Female
Male
Either
3
1Denotes that your current romantic partner is aware of and in agreement with you seeking additional partners.
2Denotes that your current romantic partner is unaware of or disagrees with you seeking additional romantic partners. If you and your partner have not discussed the issue of additional romantic partners, choose Closed.
3Bisexuals should use only one additional symbol ( - for female or v for male) to denote a pre-existing relationship. Choose the gender of your primary partner. If you have multiple primary partners of different genders, choose your own gender.
Example
My hanky code
should be interpreted like so:
The lack of a border indicates my interest in romantic relationships.
The filled in circle indicates I am open to romantic naked touching from relative strangers. It is assumed that since I am interested in naked touching, I would also be happy to receive hugs and kisses, but this may or may not be true for all. Once we get to the naked touching stage, some discussion is still necessary!
The line to the side means that I am open to long term or short term romantic naked touching relationships.
The bar and no arrow indicates that I am open to romantic naked touching relationships of indeterminate length, but only with women.
The second bar, not circled shows that I have a girlfriend who wants me to get laid.
The hanky code is a little complicated to explain, but it's really not too difficult to understand. Feel free to put it on a con badge, make an icon with it, or put a very pretty one on your shirt or something. The more people use the slasher hanky code, the more useful it is!